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This weekend I began with my newly reduced mileage. It wasn’t a drastic reduction, but I already felt I had done that a few months ago, so I felt any little bit. I ran with Teresa and Joe, and she gave me some good advice to just quit trying to keep up and run with the old group. Basically “Find new people to run with.” It is doing nothing but frustrating me trying to maintain my old identity. It was actually great advice. I’ll be much happier not worrying about being too slow, or worrying everyone is irritated if I have to make a quick stop. It will be much easier to only worry about myself. Now this doesn’t mean I’m not open to anyone who would like to join me, I’m just giving up the old group mentality. The reality is even after delivery I won’t be able to join the group. Even if I quickly regain speed, I won’t be able to adhere to rigid start times when I have a huge uncontrollable factor in my life. It’s ok, the sooner I start doing my own thing, the sooner I’ll adjust. And, I am never one to mind running alone. Sure it is nice to have some company on the 20 + mile runs, but running 6 on my own is sometimes quite welcome. It will be nice to have the next few months to stick to my favorite routes. In the past we’ve all compromised to do something the whole group wants, but now I can be selfish. I can start when I want, and I can add my walking at the end and not have to plan around anyone. I can see friends in other settings and not feel longing as I watch them take off armed with gels and gatorade for a marathon training run.

Since I can’t run as much I did a lot of other stuff the weekend: the walking, yoga class, and a strength training DVD, and I am actually a little sore today. Adding the other activities definitely helps fill the void of the weekend long run. What I am soooo looking forward to is it cooling off enough to go hiking. August ending is very exciting, as most years it means just one more month of summer.

So, to close, I think I am perking up. I think it is normal to have some ups and downs as you give things up. And while a lot of people still tell me I do not look pregnant, I felt like I had a massive gain this week. I knew going into this I would struggle with the weight gain and giving up high mileage training for several months. I know it seems superficial, but I am just being honest. Just trying to work through the struggle in the healthiest way possible.

So, if you see me out on the trail solo, no need to turn around and join me, just say hi.

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