First off, this week was me at my worst for over-scheduling. I had a computer class and then I had an additional thing every single night after work. Monday I had a dr appt, and then I had to work at the Volunteer Clinic. I cried after the appt with my highest weight ever combined with my dr telling me it’s just hard to walk when you are pregnant, and to basically get over it (I still can’t walk right..more on that later too). Tuesday night was a fun event, as Mike and I went to Perla’s for our anniversary. It was super yummy and I highly recommend it. Wednesday night was a torture fest…CPR class, which I do not need, but Mike does, and I went with him as moral support, but it was just painful to sit through 2 hours of American Heart videos in really uncomfortable chairs. Thursday night was the 2.5 hour childbirth class which isn’t bad, but after being up since 4am, and class ending at 930pm, with no breaks in the day, I was super tired. Friday was a self inflicted night of yoga, but I desperately needed to do something good for my back.
Thursday was extra crazy because my uncle had a heart attack the day before and there were emails and phone calls back and forth, about surgery plans, and worry and concern. Then, Stephanie emailed that her dr was sending her for a c-section that day since there were some growth concerns about her baby. This wasn’t a total surprise since the week before she had mentioned it, but I was also worried that she would be having a sick baby. So extra drama added to the long day. Well, my uncle is holding steady waiting for his surgery, and Stephanie and Amelia are fine. We went and saw them today and both looked great. It was a little surreal that Stephanie was holding her baby, and I still have a very abstract idea about mine. It will be nice to go visit them while they are both recovering at home. I am really happy everything turned out ok for them.
I also spent the week frustrated at not being able to walk right. I can’t really go walking for exercise….I tried a couple times, and I seem to have kinda stalled out on my back improving. I am starting to question if it can only get so much better until I get rid of my massive abdomen, which everyone seems to point out, by telling me how huge I am and no wonder my back hurts. Not sure if this is really a helpful thing to hear. After I had my breakdown Monday, Mike was nice enough to get my bike trainer out and set it up. A couple problems, the bike’s gears weren’t working, and my shoes didn’t come close to fitting. Mike rigged up the bike enough to get by, and I just had to not clip my feet in, but at least I worked up a sweat and a high heart rate. I also realized I may really need that bike trainer, because if Mike goes out of town, and the weather is too bad to take a baby running in a stroller…that is all I’ll be able to do. And Mike will go out of town at some point. Michelle was nice enough to get me scheduled at Jack and Adam’s for bike repair with same day pick up. I took it in today, treated myself to shoes that fit, and later they called saying the gears were completely ruined, and the parts are now obsolete. They are going to try and couple tricks, but Monday I’ll find out if it is salvageable and looks like I might be looking for an affordable new bike or another option.
This week was also the week, the pregnancy aches and pains hit. I started swelling up now, which I thought I would avoid, but doesn’t look that way. By night time everything from my knee down looks like Popeye, and I can sink my hand into my leg a good half inch and leave a nice handprint, or lots of little thumb prints. I also started loosing any permanent connection in my joints, and every time I turn in bed I feel a “thunk, thunk, thunk” as my hips pop out and back. My left hand has numb fingers from swelling that makes some moves a little tricky. I know all pregnant women go through this, but I just never expected so many issues to hit at once. 10 days ago, I was running 6 miles, occasionally dipping below a 9 minute mile, and it seems like overnight I can’t walk, and spend the evenings with my legs up (like the Pancake picture).
So, trying hard to be positive. I won’t lie that it is challenging be so uncomfortable and have it not let up. A little part of me was envious seeing Stephanie holding her baby, while I have a month left. The whole pregnancy I would have a little ache or pain and rally back, but I don’t seem to be rallying back this time no matter how hard I try. I am slowly accepting I may not be able to run for awhile. You can’t run if you can’t walk. So, until I can walk normal, I know it would be impossible to run. BUT, I ran 40 miles a week for 8 and half months of being pregnant. I forced myself out when I was tired, and toughed out each little discomfort. I am still riding my bike an hour a day and hitting yoga several times a week, and at 9 months pregnant now, I think that is pretty good, and I can’t feel too wimpy (well, maybe a little wimpy). I really wanted to run up to the end. It’s physically just impossible right now. I am trying to have faith that after I have Spec I’ll be able to run again. I knew I would have a lay off at some point, and I knew I wouldn’t like it, but it’s part of what I signed up for.
However, despite my growing discomforts, and being a little down mentally, this week was filled with reminders to be thankful and enjoy what I have. I think most of us heard of the earthquake in Haiti and not only felt great sympathy for those affected, but took a little assessment of all we have in our lives. As I sit here at my computer in a home with everything I need, I can’t help but feel fortunate. Being hit this week with 2 people close to be going through medical problems with potentially bad outcomes made me stop in my tracks and shift my thoughts and worries to them, and focus less on myself.
I also try to keep telling myself….only a little longer. I am on mile 20 on a marathon, mile 38 of a 50 miler and mile 80 of a hundred miler all at once. I’ve come a long way, and while I am at the end, the end is the hardest part. But, then I’ll finish and if it is anything like those runs, I’ll forget about how hard it was to get to the end, and just enjoy what comes after.