It never always gets better…

It’s only Wednesday, and this week has already proven to be a sticky one.  Jasper’s one good night of sleep last week was quickly undone by 3 horrible nights in a row.  The fact he got yet another stomach bug didn’t help.   The whole process did manage to break me into my periodic total breakdown.   He also refused to go to sleep at a decent time, so I would get him in bed and Mike and I didn’t even try to do anything for the evening, we were both so tired, oh and Mike had the stomach flu too.  One good thing he had to cancel his work trip due to illness.  Bad for Mike, good for me to have him here.   So yeah, I am hoping things get better.

I was soooo tired this morning.  Jasper got up at 330.  At 430 Mike got up and got him back down and I just cried that it was time for my alarm and I had slept about 3 hours total for the night.  I decided to go to work just a few minutes late and took a 30 minute nap before my run.   I know it sounds silly to complain about no sleep and then get up to go for a run, but I need it.  I have reached a point where I am so challenged everyday by sleep deprivation.  It’s more than just being tired, it really gets me down.  I feel like I’ve gone from someone who has a lot of energy, mentally and physically, to not having much at all.  It’s hard to understand months of sleep deprivation if you haven’t lived it…I know I didn’t get it until now.  It just chips away at you, wearing you down mentally and physically.  Anyhow, I don’t want to be too negative.  The run helps me shift through it all.  Sometimes I start in holding back tears and I finish happy and thinking “this isn’t so bad, I can get through this.”  I made Jasper a promise I would help him get through this difficult time of sleeping troubles without letting him cry all night, and I intend to keep that promise.    I guess a nice side effect is it has made me a faster runner since I start most mornings with a lot of frustration to work through.

Ok onto better things.   Alicia wrote a blog post about blogs.  I kinda have had a similar idea for awhile, but I have not had the time to sort out my thoughts.  I am fascinated by people who have really great blogs and end up making a living off them….or any money at all for that matter.   Not that I want to get rich off a blog, but I do want to make mine more professional and interesting.  I really need to keep my super nice Nikon D60 out and handy instead of taking crappy photos with my phone….like the super cute (just my opinion), but horrible quality photo in this post.  I also need to make my fairly dull life more interesting and pick an angle people want to read about (maybe no one is really that interested in reading about me slowly losing my mind!?!).   Steve suggested I try and become queen of the running mama blogs.  Ok!  I have a ways to go.  There are some really cool blogs out there.  This coming weekend my goal is to keep the good camera out.  Must get good photos!

3 thoughts on “It never always gets better…”

  1. What a cute picture! It’s so difficult to function when they are not sleeping (therefore, you are not sleeping!). Good for you for still getting up to run…not sure if I could do that…I may choose sleep! I remember feeling like a zombie that first year of life. But, it does eventually get better, I promise! Hope your hubby feels better soon!

  2. “I made Jasper a promise I would help him get through this difficult time of sleeping troubles without letting him cry all night, and I intend to keep that promise.”

    Would you like to borrow my sleep training book? Yes, you have to let them cry some — but only in small (albeit intense) intervals, it’s not “all night,” and it only lasts for a couple of nights. I don’t think it makes me a terrible mom. The sleep training works like magic and now Amelia doesn’t cry at all at night — we both get better sleep. We went from having her wake up crying 6 times a night to having her sleep through after just two nights of the sleep training. For the sake of your sanity, it might at least be worth a try.

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